Pertama kali di posting di sunglowandme.wordpress.com. Saya menulis ini ketika masih hamil baby Sam.
February’s ending already, so soon! I’ve entered 27 weeks of pregnancy, so many development and I can feel the baby’s movement in my belly. Also heard his heartbeat couple of weeks ago, such an amazing thing.
There’s a lot of topic to blog. But what comes to my mind this morning, was Angelina Jolie’s statement about how she never wanted to be a mother.
— E! Online (@eonline) February 18, 2016
“It’s strange, I never wanted to have a baby. I never wanted to be pregnant. I never babysat. I never thought of myself as a mother,” the now mother-of-six revealed.
It was while playing with children at a Cambodian school during an early trip as goodwill ambassador for the U.N. that everything changed for her: “It was suddenly very clear to me that my son was in the country, somewhere.”
Amazing how a mother of 6 kids said that. You always think when you see Angelina Jolie adopting and having a baby thinking, wow she had it (being a mother) in her blood. I never saw Angelina Jolie to be one after seeing her bad ass characters in movies.
I never actually saw myself as a mother too. Never pictured myself pregnant (except for imagining a bit what married life would be). I babysat for only maybe an hour or two for my sister’s kids, or maybe when she went out for a couple of minutes, like that counts. When I just got married, people asked when or why you’re not pregnant yet. I thought, ‘I just got married.’ I’m not Charlotte from SATC, who mastered everything about being a mother before she even got pregnant. I still amazed on the baby stuffs I should buy when I browsed it the other day.
When I just found out that I am pregnant, I wondered that if I can be a mother or have the instinct to be. One of my relative said, ‘(Don’t worry) It should come naturally.’ I think when the moment comes, the moment comes.
But I experience the baby kick when I played on Coldplay song the other day. When the big thunder blared, he kicked (perhaps surprised with the sound). When the TV aired someone did a bad karaoke singing as well. I feel the connection, which is something I never experience before, which is very beautiful. Or, when my husband feel and kiss the belly affectionately. Or, the urgency to eat everything that did not contain any bad element for the baby.
Of course it’s hard, being a mother, from the very early of pregnancy (well, I’m not a mother fully yet). I think that’s why women now not eager to be one, considering all the hassle and pain, and the sacrificing, and it goes on for 20 years perhaps. But I wondered though, why some women keep doing it anyway? Like why Angelina Jolie have 6 kids? Or, some families who have 12 kids and keep their sanity at the same time.
I saw their faces. It’s the joy.
Yes, motherhood. I always felt when I feel like I’m ready to be a mother, I’ll be a mother. But in some cases in my life, life throws me one before I know I’m ready.
Babies are pure, we are the ones who messes them. I think, though parents are there to guide them, kids also unconsciously ‘guide’ the parents. Test their patience and their ability (this Indonesian article said it). It’s up to the parents if they chose to be caught by it.
I said this before being a parent, so perhaps I won’t be as perfect. But it’s important to remember this after opening this new chapter. So Angelina Jolie, it’s an inspiring experience you shared. And bismillah, for me and my hubby to this new chapter.